You’re not an idiot. Well, maybe you are. I’ve never met you, so I can’t say for certain, but I’ll assume that you want to change your ways because you’re still reading. I can say for damn sure that if you aren’t following an action plan, you sure as hell as prescribing to world-class dumbass behavior! Please understand that I say this from a good place; my core, which is an amalgamation of recalled 90s toys, Tom and Jerry slapstick cartoons, and a C4-Pop-Rocks-soda cocktail.
If you want a Lamborghini, you need an action plan.
If you want a mansion to live in, you need an action plan.
If you want six-pack abs to look good on Instagram or in a cosplay outfit, but when you stretch, Dorito dust cascades over your belly, and your heart beats like the Jumanji drum, you need an action plan.
What Do I Mean By Big Goals?
If you are thinking, ‘like buying a car I like’ or ‘getting a raise at work,’ get that weak shit outta my house!
I mean life-changing goals that, if you looked back, would seem like a lifetime ago. Goals that change your tax bracket, your pants size, and your mental state. Goals big enough that you need to slip out your evil villain escape hatch just as the IRS clacks that obnoxiously large door knocker in the shape of T-Rex after bursting through your front gate. I’m just kidding about the last part, but you get the picture. No goal is too big with proper preparation.
You reach those goals with planning because you
Ask All The Questions!
Ask Google, yourself, the universe, the crazy dude at the corner that’s been ‘mixing potions’ since 5am! I don’t give a shit! You can’t make a plan without asking the important questions. Imagine talking to a runny-nose kid:
“Hey, mister! Why do you have robot legs?”
“Because I was in the break-dancing wars.”
“Why?”
“Because the self-aware robot dancers said they would brutally dance on the stupid face of humanity.“
“Why?”
“Because they’re assholes…”
Why?
Why?
Why?
Now, while we both can agree that child is the devil and should be punted into the stratosphere (I don’t kick kids or advocate for the action; calm down), the runt made a bunch of good points. Except, replace why with how.
How do I become a billionaire? Start investing and start a successful business.
How do I start a successful business? Find a need in the marketplace that only you and your company can satisfy and legally start a business.
How do I legally start a business?
Are you seeing the pattern here? There are a lot – and I mean a lot – of tiny, teeny weeny, fucking baby steps in between the end goal and where you are. You need to lay them out and chart a course. Bringing me to my next point!
Wait, wait, wait. I forgot about the kid…
Unfolding the Map To Your Destiny
Not an actual map like The Goonies, though that would be tight. However, if you want to turn this into a treasure hunt and put little rewards at each major milestone, don’t let me crush your dreams. Live yo’ life. As long as the end result is the same: Make a linear path to your goal.
Because I know one of the first questions I’ll get is, “What is something is stopping or holding up my next step?” Here’s the answer.
DO. NOT. STOP. Find another task you can complete until the task you want to complete can be checked off. Most of the time, those larger tasks can be broken down into smaller subtasks forming VOLTRON- err, to-do lists; My own personal yet productive addiction.
To-Do Lists Turn You Into A God
If you believe that, you must have also donated money to a Nigerian Prince or two. Hell, if that were true, Kratos from God of War would have base-dived from Olympus and merked my ass forever ago. Whenever I check stuff off of my lists, I get a rush of what I must imagine heroin feels like. I’m craving the next hit of accomplishment, scratching my neck and shaking my dealer (aka the to-do list) by the collar to see if even a crumb of task with fall out. Note to self: I would be a terrible junkie.
Back on point, there is a massive benefit to checking off to-do tasks; you visually see yourself get closer to your big goals. You see, it’s not impossible. That realization alone can make you feel invincible. But I’m not ignorant of the fact that lists for some big goals are going to be much longer than others. Where you are in life may attribute to that. Be it financially, geographically, mentally, or more. But here is the not-so-secret:
Anyone can use this system to reach their goals at any time.
Once that truly sinks in and you get past the idea that some dude on the internet is yelling positive profanity at you, you will be invincible and unstoppable. Screw the haters and naysayers as they can suck a fat dork – no, I said it right. Google it. In the end, those haters will change their tune when you are accomplishing your goals and having fun along the way.
And you should have fun. You are actively changing your life for the better – no reason to be the sourpuss of success. Unless your big goals involve actual world domination then I’ll say you should make a list of at least seven trillion tasks to keep you occupied and you should be miserable the entire time, you damn psycho.
The aforementioned treasure map statement was off-the-cuff but gamifying your journey may be the pick-me-up you need to keep on your path, as it will take focus to stay on track. If you’re lazy like me and want others to provide you joy, there are apps to help gamify your to-do list. You don’t need to make every part of this an uphill battle, so work smart.
Have A Constant Reminder
The header said it all; have a constant reminder in your face, every day. On a dry erase board, on your phone, on the toilet, in your fridge, in the basement, in the bedroom, on the porch, and on a bridge. Ahh, thank you Dr. Seuss.
My Big Goal For You
As much as I’m fucking around and trying to get a laugh out of you, My big goal is to drive home my point: you can complete any big goal you want to, however it doesn’t happen by accident. It takes planning, preparation, to-do lists (because I didn’t mention them before), and consistency. Now, go out there, reach your goals, and kick that kid, metaphorically!